these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
