it wasn't lemon gatorade
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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