I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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