I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
