I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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