This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
