i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
