Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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