Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
