I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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