I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
