Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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