Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
