I hate your face
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
