this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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