Do you still have your period?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
