We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
