So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
