so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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