No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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