I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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