she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
