We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
