Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
