i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
