Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
