She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
