i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
