i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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