Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
