Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
