So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
