i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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