Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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