also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
