hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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