god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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