This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
