They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
