If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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