if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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