They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He passed out mid-signature
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
