I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
