Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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