I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
