He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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