Whoa Z and x make the same sound
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize