sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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