so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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