I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
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