No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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