So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
