well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
