I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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