let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
