in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
