He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
