Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
