Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
