Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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