that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
