I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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