i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
