Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
