Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
