we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
