playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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