ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
